Friday, May 30, 2003

Calling All Geeks

Want to know if you're a geek? Click here.

For the record, anyone reading this Blog is super cool and is not a geek.

• posted by Dave at 2:06 AM
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Most summers I make a CD of trendy music that don't look right sitting next to other CD's of mine, such as every Guns N' Roses CD, every Doors CD, a bunch of Elvis CDs, Pink Floyd, Springsteen, etc.

I used to hate songs on the "Hot 100" or whatever the kids are calling it, until I realized that it's for fun and not to be taken seriously. That is why I make a CD each summer, and also because it can be done illegally. I made my CD yesterday, created a cover to go with it (shown below), and gave it the title of "Summer Tunes By 50 Cent & Pals."

• posted by Dave at 1:36 PM
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What Do You Have In Common With Michael Jackson?

A) You used to be cool
B) You are white
C) You used to be black
D) Yesterday, you went to Taco Bell and into your local Congressman's office wearing a Spiderman mask

• posted by Dave at 2:18 AM
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Strangest Junk E-Mail Ever

I've gotten my fair share of odd e-mails over the years but this one takes the cake....

Since 1873, the Global Elite Has Held Secret Meetings in the Ancient Redwood Forest of Northern California. Members of the so-called "Bohemian Club" Include Former Presidents Eisenhower, Nixon and Reagan. The Bush Family Maintains a Strong Involvement. Each Year at Bohemian Grove, Members of This All-Male "Club" Don Red, Black and Silver Robes and Conduct an Occult Ritual Wherein They Worship a Giant Stone Owl, Sacrificing a Human Being in Effigy to What They Call the "Great Owl of Bohemia."

Now, for the First Time in History, an Outsider Has Infiltrated Bohemian Grove with a Hidden Digital Video Camera and Caught the Ritual on Tape. That Man is Alex Jones, the Exclusive Digital Video is Just Part of His Shocking New Documentary: DARK SECRETS: INSIDE BOHEMIAN GROVE

I will not give the link to "Bohemian Grove" based on the fact that by clicking on it your computer may self-destruct, I'm not sure, but I don't want it on my concious.

Even better, is how the email was only sent to 12 people including, Rush Limbaugh, C-Span, and Bill O' Reilly from Fox News. Therefore, since I am letting the public aware of this, I very well could also self-destruct.

• posted by Dave at 11:38 PM
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Yay!

Bronson Pinchot aka Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers turns 44 today. This is the same Balki that gave us these quotes over the years...

"Paint me green and call me Gumby."

"If everyone knew how to herd sheep, there would be no one left to write poetry."

"Well feed me garlic and call me stinky."

Thanks to PK for pointing out this very, very, very important matter and to this website for the Balki quotes.

For the record, as someone who aspires to be a full-time journalist, I assure you that I will never, ever, ever spend this much time writing about Bronson Pinchot again. Thank you.

• posted by Dave at 10:02 PM
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Watching Your Guyish Figure

Are you a man that always worries that certain foods will go right to your thighs? Does this make you feel like a woman? It probably should, but anyway, you're not alone.

• posted by Dave at 7:45 PM
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Marketing Idea

I hope they sell the Jesus and Mary thongs here as mentioned in the previous post.

• posted by Dave at 12:43 AM
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Nothing More Needs To Be Said

A supermarket chain in Denmark that sparked an outcry by selling thongs featuring images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary says it will withdraw the items from sale.

To read the full story, click here.

• posted by Dave at 12:39 AM
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The Gap

Yesterday I bought shorts at The Gap. The Gap employee who "checked me out" at the register, asked where I wanted him to put it.

We can only hope he was talking about the receipt.

• posted by Dave at 3:45 PM
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Okay, Okay...

I haven't been up to my normal amount of blogging. I have been kind of busy with other tasks such as spending some time organizing and cleaning my room. During this I managed to find my "Major and Minor Declaration Form," which is rather important, and should have been turned in many months ago.

However, I'm going to try and return to normal status. I worked on a new column today, which should excite you, but since it wouldn't be published until next school year, might not excite you as much. Maybe when it's done I will post it here.

Finally, yesterday I asked people to mail me "Congratulations!" e-cards for not getting fired my first day at work (filling out papers). Thanks to everyone (Michelle) who was kind enough to send me a card.

• posted by Dave at 4:59 PM
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Work Update

I went to my summer job today to fill out paper work and was not fired. The streak begins.

To send me a "Congratulations!" e-card, click here and send to DavidFJ@aol.com.

• posted by Dave at 7:00 PM
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Clubbhouse Drama

HA-HA! What will those crazy baseball players do next?!

• posted by Dave at 6:57 PM
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Question

What does Japan's masked politician and myself have in common? We have both received checks from the same company.

Should this inspire me to try and become America's masked humor columnist?!?!?

I haven't forgotten about putting up posts regarding my NYC trip, keep checking back.

• posted by Dave at 3:45 PM
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Back Online

I was back online, with the new modem (mentioned earlier) an hour or two after I began installation. It would have been sooner but I had to call Comcast to find out they gave me the wrong registration number, which kind of complicated matters.

• posted by Dave at 1:22 PM
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Alive

I am back from New York City. However, my internet provider AT&T Broadband was bought out by Comcast and they were kind enough to send me a new modem I have to install myself.

I will give updates about the NYC trip soon, unless I can't properly hook up my new modem, in which case I will never be online again.

In the mean time, you'll have to settle for this very exciting picture of my shoe, next to a shoe of a New York Knicks basketball player, which was found in a laundary basket backstage at Madison Square Garden this afternoon.

• posted by Dave at 12:03 AM
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New York City

I leave 6:30 this morning for NYC. There will be no blogging this weekend as I won't be taking a laptop. Hopefully, when I return I'll have something of importance to report. However, this is not likely.

Hopefully I won't run into the guy I talked about in this article, who:

"pointed out that if we went to the seventh floor of a particular hotel, girls would be there to do acts which should be unspeakable, but he unfortunately had no problem speaking to us about them in great detail."

• posted by Dave at 12:19 AM
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High School Musical

I was in my High School Musical all four years, so the past two I've made an effort to go back and visit.

It's weird seeing something you were a very big part of now in the hands of someone else now. Even weirder was seeing girls tonight I used to hook up with and realizing how they're already Sophomores in High School now.

Just kidding!

• posted by Dave at 12:08 AM
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"Get Me My Food, Woman!"

I respect women and support male/female equality.

With that said, I'd still love to shake this man's hand.

• posted by Dave at 5:21 PM
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Sad Day

My first crush, the woman who at the age of 5, I planned on enjoying wedded bliss with, died today.

Elizabeth Heulette has been officially identified as the victim in the death at Larry Pfohl's (Lex Luger) house early this morning. Numerous sources have labeled Heulette (the famed Elizabeth of WWF and WCW fame), 42, as having passed away earlier today at Kennestone Hospital in Cobb County, GA. There had been a domestic dispute between the two on Easter Sunday. Preliminary indications are that this is not a domestic violence situation and it is believed to have been an overdose.

For more information, click here.

• posted by Dave at 3:14 PM
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Outdoor Dave

Every year - since last year - when school ends and there is a week or two until my local friends come home, I do some type of project to increase the overall value of our house - so that if my parents ever have a "misfortunate accident" I can steal the deed of the house and profit even greater.

Last year I took out various evergreen plants in our front yard, to make room for more wood chips and plants. In the back of the yard I made a circular area in the yard to place a bird birth and more flowers. This is rather on the homosexual side, I realize, but some year I will take on a manly project, such as putting up dry wall.

This year I am going to extended the planting area 1 yard from the fence on the left side of the yard. This is very exciting, and even more exciting for neighbors, as I will be topless.

• posted by Dave at 1:43 PM
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