Sunday, January 30, 2005

WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE A STALKER

While reading different people's away messages and profiles on AIM, my friend Joe Ciotti had a gem. Joe writes:

"What's better than the music from 8-bit Mario Bros.? An asian kid playing it on the piano, blindfolded."

Joe was absolutely right. See for yourself.

• posted by Dave at 3:13 PM
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GREATEST SURVIVAL STORY OF ALL-TIME

The survival tactics included 60 beers and urination.

• posted by Dave at 5:58 PM
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FULL HOUSE ON DVD!

Taken from amazon.com...

"Full House, the ever-popular family-friendly sitcom about a recent widower (Bob Saget) who takes over raising his three daughters with the help of his wife's brother (John Stamos) and his best friend (Dave Coulier), is finally coming to DVD! The series launched the careers of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen."

I predict that the overall crime rate in America will decrease as a result of this release.

• posted by Dave at 2:45 PM
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A POLITICIAN FIGHTING FOR WHAT REALLY MATTERS: THE USE OF BOXING GLOVES IN COCKFIGHTING

David Jakielo reporting for WdSR radio.

Gone are the days in Oklahoma when a crowd could gather to watch two roosters fight to the death, but a hardworking Democratic Oklahoma senator, Frank Shurden, has proposed a compromise: fit the roosters with boxing gloves and Let’s Get It On!

"Who's going to object to chickens fighting like humans do? Everybody wins," Shurden stated in an argument to reinstate cockfighting, which has been banned in Oklahoma since 2002.

In the past cockfighting consisted of the birds being fitted with razor-like spurs, often battling to the death. The practice is still legal in Louisiana and New Mexico.

More information: click here.

• posted by Dave at 8:41 PM
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LIVING DEAD MAN

David Jakielo reporting for WdSR radio.

In Raleigh, North Carolina, a medical student studying in a morgue was startled when the dead came alive.

Larry Green, 29, was pronounced dead by emergency medical technicians after being hit by a car. The medical student, J.B. Perdue, was at the scene but did not examine Green then. Two hours later at the morgue, Perdue noticed that the man, thought to be dead, was taking subtle breaths.

Green remains in critical condition at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, while several members of the Franklin County emergency medical service have been suspended pending an investigation.

More information: click here.

• posted by Dave at 8:31 PM
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OH GREAT, NOW THE TERRORISTS WIN AGAIN!

"Female interrogators tried to break Muslim detainees at the U.S. prison camp in Guantanamo Bay by sexual touching, wearing a miniskirt and thong underwear and in one case smearing a Saudi man's face with fake menstrual blood, according to an insider's written account."

Can you believe this?!

Some Guantanamo prisoners who have been released say they were tormented by "prostitutes."

• posted by Dave at 8:28 PM
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FASHION UPDATE

Something to wear to church on Sunday.

• posted by Dave at 8:25 PM
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MORE REASONS WHY WE WERE BETTER OFF BEFORE CELL PHONES

I recommend finger exercises.

• posted by Dave at 1:38 PM
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NON-HUMOROUS POST-STEELERS LOSS, DEPRESSION POST



Long before regulation and the Steelers season ended, many Steelers fans opted to leave the AFC Championship game at Heinz Field.

I'm going to go cry now.

• posted by Dave at 1:54 AM
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UPDATE ON GUY WHO SHOT NAIL INTO HIS HEAD

As a surprise to nobody, now he has decided to make pizzas.

• posted by Dave at 1:19 PM
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DISCUSSION QUESTION

Shortly, I am going to change my web address from www.davidjakielo.com/columns (even though that one really rolled-off the tongue) to something easier that people can remember and pass around via word-of-mouth.

I'm currently leaning towards www.readdave.com. If you (assuming anybody is still reading this after how erratic my posting has been) have any better suggestions, please let me know by clicking on the "Comment" link underneath this post.

Thanks!

• posted by Dave at 1:13 PM
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BLOGGING IS RETURNING

I took a brief break from blogging because much of my time has been directed towards technical work on my new project thelifetimeguarantee.com. Also, with classes starting last week I'm getting used to a new routine.

So far, with Mondays and Fridays off, and only a night class on Wednesday, that routine consists of my trying to stay inside every now-and-again and not become an alcoholic.

Your support is appreciated!

• posted by Dave at 1:09 PM
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The Lifetime Guarantee
www.thelifetimeguarantee.com
thelifetimeguarantee@yahoo.com

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: David Jakielo
Email: DavidFJ@aol.com

The Lifetime Guarantee Launches Website

PITTSBURGH, Pa., January 7, 2005 - The Lifetime Guarantee, a comedy-trio band, announces the launch of their official website: www.thelifetimeguarantee.com. Having developed a cult-like following over the past year by playing to sold-out shows throughout New York City, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, the website allows the world to experience The Lifetime Guarantee's unique brand of entertainment.

"We just might be the best 3-piece comedy band in the world. Seriously, name a 3-piece comedy band that is better than us," said band member Darrin Hall. "And this website just might be the best website of a 3-piece comedy band in the world."

The website has thirteen sections, with the most popular features expected to be:

- The Weblog. Where band members will post daily thoughts and information. An interactive comments section also allows readers to make remarks about posts.

- Listen. Visitors are able to hear songs by The Lifetime Guarantee in Real Audio.

- Ask The Band. Fans have the opportunity to ask the band questions and see answers published online.

- Message Board. Fans interact with fans; Fans interact with the band; and even band members interact with other band members in this exciting forum.


The Lifetime Guarantee is comprised of Darrin Hall, 25, a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh; Justin Janosko, 24, a graduate of Duquesne University, who is also a singer and co-songwriter in the band. Janosko also plays percussion and exotic instruments; Jimmy English, 25, a one-time piano major at Duquesne University, who transferred to the University of Pittsburgh, provides vocals for the band. He contributes the musical genius behind The Lifetime Guarantee, acting as another singer and co-song writer.

The band formed after a long, strange road of ironic twists and sacrifices. Having the desire to entertain publicly since high school, the three understood the importance of an education before taking the gamble of moving to New York City to live out their dreams. The success became a reality in late August of 2004 when they won a 3-month long Battle of the Bands contest, competing against 74 other bands, in nearby Hoboken, NJ, at The Whiskey Bar. An upcoming show is scheduled for World Cafι Live in Philadelphia, PA later this month.

For further information contact Scott Rush at (201) 988-6554 or by email, Scott@media51.com.

###

• posted by Dave at 6:12 PM
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POLL RESULTS

Question: What was better?

Seinfeld: 43%
Saved By The Bell: 38%
Full House: 11%
You Can't Do That On Television: 8%

I agree.

• posted by Dave at 7:20 PM
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A REMINDER TO MY ROOMMATE JEFF

The Philadelphia Eagles will choke.

• posted by Dave at 1:38 PM
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