EXCERPT

Put your cell phone on silent
BY DAVID JAKIELO

I’m pretty sure that the only thing more annoying than cell phones are the people that use them. I, of course, am not talking about YOU, especially if YOU happen to be a female with all of your limbs still attached, in which case we should exchange numbers.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for technological advances such as cell phones, the Internet and the electric food dehydrator, but these are major innovations that were not around when we were born. Someday this is going to make us feel especially old. We'll end up saying things to our children like, "Back when I was a kid, we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to see naked people, we actually had to leave the house or subscribe to the National Geographic!"