"College on the Rocks" by David Jakielo | A Collection of Humor Columns

THE FRESHMAN OBSERVER
• The Name of the Game

SOPHOMORIC HUMOR
• Classin' or Clubbin'
• Dumb People Make for a “Blockbuster” of a Good Time
• How 'Hooked Up' is Your Ride?
• Can You Tell Me How I Got Back to Sesame Street?
• Hell on Wheels

JUNIOR JOCULARITY
• Before Reality, There is the First Week of School
• Over The Hill and then Some
• O' Canada! We Play Our Harmonicas to Thee
• Making the Magic Happen
• Recycling: Not Just for Old Jokes
• A Trip Down Memory Lane with Mr. Martini
• The Caucuses are Coming
• Put Your Cell Phone on Silent
• Read This Since Studying is Overrated
• Jolly Old St. Dave
• Mother Nature is a Hussy
• Frat Boys are People Too
• Hola, I Don't Speak Spanish
• Volcano Style Biking
• Dave Gone Wild
• The Doctor is In
• Not Dave's Best Friend
• Slacker and the City

SENIOR SYMPOSIUM
• Orientation Drug-Free
• Go for the Gold or Go Up in Flames
• An Insiders Look into Creating a Newspaper
• Dave Does Vegas
• America: Land of the Free, Home of the Undecided
• A Hairy Situation
• On the Prowl for Love
• I'm Too Sexy for this Column
• A Magical New Year
• Disney World Distractions (Part II)
• "Plagiarism." Humor Column. The Duquesne Duke 10 Feb. 2005: 4-5.
• The Secret to Success . . . or At Least Steady Employment
• Open Wide
• Dave Weighs in on Extreme Championship Wrestling
• A Journey Through My (Sometimes) Educational Career
• A-Walking Down Duquesne's Memory Lane

EXCERPT

Frat boys are people too
BY DAVID JAKIELO

Recently, I noticed a girl and wanted to talk to her. On impulse, I approached her and initiated conversation. I don't know what drives me to take such risks (answer: hormones), but my friends and family are very proud. Initially the talk went smoothly until someone informed her that I'm in a fraternity. I immediately became stereotyped. She explained, which I am not making up, "You're probably an (non-Catholic word) who would take me back to your apartment, give me a 6-pack and then try to have (get our mind out of the gutter young persons) with me." On top of that, throughout the night she would say things like, "Wait, you're opening my door? Maybe you are a nice guy? Is this part of your 'game' I have mace on me, you know!" Another girl, during the same week, accused me of being the type of guy who makes out with six girls per party. That is also untrue; the average is typically eight.

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