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College on the Rocks is a collection of humor columns published for The Duquesne Duke, Duquesne University’s weekly student newspaper, by multi-time award winning humor columnist David Jakielo.

This laugh-out-loud series of columns, in chronological order, showcase the progression of a humor columnist as he writes about topics that range from his being Santa Claus in a local community to dancing topless at Spring Break in Cancun with Santa Claus. Other topics include:

David’s Dad Turning 50: “He is one-year closer to collecting social security while I am one-year closer to obtaining the deed to our house.”

Academic Tests: “Tests call for the student to become addicted to caffeine pills so that they can commit many terms and ideas to short-term memory.”

The Job Fair: “A job fair is where representatives from various companies gather to briefly speak with many unemployed people they have little interest in hiring.”

Body Hair: “A puberty-related matter that consistently haunts us throughout life, especially when it clogs our shower drain.”

How to Find the Right Dentist: “Ask yourself important questions like, ‘Why is there a power chainsaw in the dentistīs office?’ and ‘Why is this dentist toothless?’”

This is like no college literature ever published before...this is College on the Rocks!



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WEBSITE BY DAVID A. JAKIELO
PRIMETIMEDESIGNS.COM

Ex-Duquesne student authors humor columns
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Duquesne graduate publishes collection of comedy
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Dave Does Duquesne in "College on the Rocks"
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FEATURES 40 HUMOR COLUMNS

THE FRESHMAN OBSERVER
• The Name of the Game (02.21.02)

SOPHOMORIC HUMOR
• Classin’ or Clubbin’ (09.05.02)
• Dumb People Make for a “Blockbuster” of a Good Time (09.19.02)
• How ‘Hooked Up’ is Your Ride? (10.10.02)
• Can You Tell Me How I Got Back to Sesame Street?
• Hell on Wheels (02.27.03)

JUNIOR JOCULARITY
• Before Reality, There is the First Week of School (08.28.03)
• Over The Hill and then Some (09.18.03)
• O’ Canada! We Play Our Harmonicas to Thee (10.02.03)
• Making the Magic Happen (10.09.03)
• Recycling: Not Just for Old Jokes (10.16.03)
• A Trip Down Memory Lane with Mr. Martini (10.30.03)
• The Caucuses are Coming (11.06.03)
• Put Your Cell Phone on Silent (11.13.03)
• Read This Since Studying is Overrated
• Jolly Old St. Dave (01.15.2004)
• Mother Nature is a Hussy (01.29.04)
• Frat Boys are People Too (02.05.04)
• Hola, I Don’t Speak Spanish (02.26.04)
• Volcano Style Biking (03.04.04)
• Dave Gone Wild (03.18.04)
• The Doctor is In (03.25.04)
• Not Dave’s Best Friend (04.01.04)
• Slacker and the City (04.22.04)

SENIOR SYMPOSIUM
• Orientation Drug-Free (08.19.04)
• Go for the Gold or Go Up in Flames (09.02.04)
• An Insiders Look into Creating a Newspaper (09.23.04)
• Dave Does Vegas (09.30.04)
• America: Land of the Free, Home of the Undecided (10.28.04)
• A Hairy Situation (11.04.04)
• On the Prowl for Love (11.18.04)
• I’m Too Sexy for this Column (12.02.04)
• A Magical New Year (01.13.05)
• Disney World Distractions (Part II) (01.20.05)
• “Plagiarism.” Humor Column. The Duquesne Duke 10 Feb. 2005: 4-5. (02.10.05)
• The Secret to Success . . . or At Least Steady Employment (02.17.05)
• Open Wide (03.03.05)
• Dave Weighs in on Extreme Championship Wrestling (03.31.05)
• A Journey Through My (Sometimes) Educational Career (04.21.05)
• A-Walking Down Duquesne’s Memory Lane (04.28.05)