College on the Rocks is a collection of humor columns published for The Duquesne Duke, Duquesne University’s weekly student newspaper, by multi-time award winning humor columnist David Jakielo.

This laugh-out-loud series of columns, in chronological order, showcase the progression of a humor columnist as he writes about topics that range from his being Santa Claus in a local community to dancing topless at Spring Break in Cancun with Santa Claus. Other topics include:

David’s Dad Turning 50: “He is one-year closer to collecting social security while I am one-year closer to obtaining the deed to our house.”

Academic Tests: “Tests call for the student to become addicted to caffeine pills so that they can commit many terms and ideas to short-term memory.”

The Job Fair: “A job fair is where representatives from various companies gather to briefly speak with many unemployed people they have little interest in hiring.”

Body Hair: “A puberty-related matter that consistently haunts us throughout life, especially when it clogs our shower drain.”

How to Find the Right Dentist: “Ask yourself important questions like, ‘Why is there a power chainsaw in the dentist´s office?’ and ‘Why is this dentist toothless?’”

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David Jakielo is a 2005 graduate of Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA with a major in journalism. While in undergrad, he penned over 100 humor columns and newspaper articles for The Duquesne Duke. The 40 columns featured in College on the Rocks were hand-picked by the author and also voted on by his readers.

He is currently the Director of Development and Alumni Relations at Bishop Canevin High School. In 2010, Dave will complete his Masters of Science in Media Arts and Technology also at Duquesne University.