Tuesday, August 09, 2005

RIGHT IDEA, WRONG PRODUCT

I think this guy could learn something about setting goals from this guy.

• posted by Dave at 10:13 PM
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THE LIFETIME GUARANTEE IN D.C.

This weekend I'll be at The Lifetime Guarantee show in Washington, D.C. You might remember the article I wrote a while back about the comedy-trio band or visited their website TheLifetimeGuarantee.com.

If you're in the area, I hope to see you at the show. Here's the info:

August 13, 10:30 p.m.
Staccato
With Special Guest Opener, Brock
2006 18th Street, NW
Washington, DC
For more information on Staccato, click here.

• posted by Dave at 10:07 PM
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THE SWINGIN' SINGLE

Here is an annoynomous Instant Message I received from a friend tonight printed verbatim, minus the girl's name. At a party the girl, who he was with weeks ago, overheard at a party how he was with a girl earlier in the night...

"hey, heres the only thing i can think to say to you. i've already told you my stand on relationships so im not too sure what you see evolving from me and you. if you are looking to be good friends, party, maybe mess around or whatever, im you're man. but if you're not comfortable doing that if you know at other times i might be doing the same thing with other girls, then i really dont think us hanging out will work out too much. i dont know you too well but from what i see, you seem to be emotionally involved somewhat past just friends. as far as me and -----, i have no clue what will happen with me and her. so, you know yourself the best. let me know what you think and i'll be cool with it. we're gonna be 3 hours apart at school, at best, we'll see each other every few weeks or something, so just dont mentally set yourself up for something that isnt actually possible, ya know?"

Use the "Comment" section below to voice your opinion. Who is the bad person here? Is honesty the best policy?

• posted by Dave at 9:54 PM
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SPRINGSTEEN

For the fourth time ever, I saw Bruce Springsteen live tonight. This show, at the Peterson Events Center, was the core of Springsteen. The entire tour is just Bruce, with no E-Street Band. The whole set was acoustic with Bruce playing multiple instruments throughout the evening. No smoke and mirrors there.

I've seen many famous acts, but once again he proved tonight that he really is not only a living legend but, The Boss.

• posted by Dave at 1:11 AM
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TLC

How could they possibly replace Lisa Left-Eye?

• posted by Dave at 7:41 PM
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ENTOURAGE LOST SCENE

As I helped note over at www.wrestlingobserver.com today, now available through HBO onDemand on Comcast, there is a new "Entourage Lost Scene" installment. This one features DDP, Jake Roberts (with a snake), Nikolai Volkoff and Jimmy Snuka all playing the main characters while talking about losing their virginity.

It's awesome and hilarious. Check it out.

• posted by Dave at 3:38 PM
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KEYSTONE BELLE



Yesterday we took Grandma on a boat for her birthday. We didn't have to use the life preservers. A great time was had by all.

• posted by Dave at 11:24 PM
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COLUMN WORTH CHECKING OUT

A very good friend of the family, Edna Hays, was quoted today on page A2 of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. The full article can be read, here. The quotes can be found towards the end of the article.

• posted by Dave at 10:41 PM
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GET OUT OF THE WATER!

Who knew Jaws had a big brother.

• posted by Dave at 9:22 PM
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BUTT BLASTER AND FEMALE SPLITS

Today at the gym I tried a new machine called "The Butt Blaster." I've only seen the machine used once and in that instance it was an attractive girl with a very good body. Curious, I checked out the machine today and noticed how "The Butt Blaster" was etched into the machine numerous times. I decided I had to try it out.

Basically, it's a machine where you lay on your stomach, grip two handles and with one knee planted, you extend the other leg in an upwards motion to lift the weight.

While the machine provided a great workout, I fear it was a girl-only machine. I would imagine must dudes don't even worry about their ass. In addition, most gym machines have a posted note with directions and a drawing of someone to illustrate how to use the machine. Generally, the drawing is of a bald headed man with a chiseled body but wearing no underwear and having no penis. Anyway, the picture on this machine was of a woman with breasts, wearing female clothing, and she even had a ponytail.

Do you think this is a chick-only machine? Even so, should I continue to use it? What is more important to chicks, a smart ass or a hard one?

Furthermore, in the back room, a ridiculously attractive girl was doing her ab workout in the same room as me. As I contemplated lying by yelling out, "998, 999, 1,000!" and mentioning to her that I just did 1,000 crunches (taking a page out of Ron Burgandy's book in Anchorman), another man approached her. The two seemed to know each other and both seemed to be attracted to one another.

The best part was, when he showed up, she immediately stopped working on her abs. She told him, "I'm just back here stretching," which seemed like an odd thing to do in the middle of an ab workout. Her stretching consisted of insane splits. If I was a hot chick and wanted a dude, I would pull stuff like that all the time.

• posted by Dave at 5:29 PM
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WEDDING CRASHERS, THE SECOND TIME AROUND

I saw Wedding Crashers again last night, making it the first movie I ever saw twice in a movie theater in the span of four days. It was a very interesting experience since I knew what jokes were coming and I was able to observe better how the writers tugged at the emotions of the audience. With that said, it's strange how different audiences react to different parts. Some of the biggest laughs on Friday, were met with no reaction last night and vice versa. Maybe it's a crowd psychology thing?

Anyway, after the movie there was an extra laugh. This teenage girl in front of me started freaking out on her boyfriend about how she was supposed to be home by 11 and now she will be grounded. Ha ha. I don't know why I found that kind of drama funny but it was good stuff.

• posted by Dave at 12:07 PM
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